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Another down day following the artificial ups of amphetamines and pornography. I feel lethargic and anticipate either continued struggles or reparations for consistency. The accounts I had used for transient pleasures are deleted. I must ration the remaining amphetamines and start work/therapy this week. One small step at a time. I shall list keystone goals and their means once I have a better headspace. Today is for rest. Tomorrow, I have orientation for the job at a grocery store and must follow up with psych professionals. It will be good to be mentally and physically occupied. I will be better for myself.

I will start small, with each step being proactive and beneficial to my everyday existence. These changes aim to affect my mental and physical health. Lately, I have not been following a steady diet. This includes fluid intake, which should be around 16 cups, of which water should be around 8-10 cups, and the rest from other food/liquid. Drinking water can be implemented at specific times and also spread throughout the day. One of the best times to hold oneself accountable is after waking and before sleeping. I will try to keep a full cup of water or bottle on my bedside table and use this as a starting block for a new morn/night routine. Starting off slow, I will eventually list and implement other keystone habits. I do not wish to micromanage my health, but would rather have physical health at its baseline in order to mitigate the negative effects it has on mental health.

I must work on reducing or eliminating the use of chemicals/distractions for recreation. I would like to stop drinking, vaping, and the mindless use of my phone. The use of amphetamines may have benefits but if I do not stop this cycle of abuse, there is no other choice than cessation. Addiction/dependence is ingrained with my person, within my habits and thoughts, in which it must be chiseled and reformed to be understood and controlled. I am willing to help myself achieve a semblance of inner peace. I can only look forward to the continuation of unnecessary and incessant suffering if I do not take action.